I don't know how it happens..

.. it just does.

We all have those times in our life where we fade out.. we disappear for a little while, take a step back to reflect or to get away, or a number of other reasons.

One particular thing I step back from occasionally is my path.  I get scared and I don't know if I'm going in the right direction so I just stop moving and put that on hold.  Every time my little... voice of Fate sees that I have dropped something for so long, they knock on the door and say hey! YOU need to get back on the ball, try again it's ok everything will work out as it should. and i say 'ok, i'll go, but slowly' and I do.. and every time I do everything comes flooding back to me... my power is renewed... my understandings... everything is reawakened into a new light.. every time i step back in an ability becomes stronger for me... a different one each time and in it's right... at the time that it should.

Right now this thing is my ability to read Tarot and Oracle decks.  I put away my Raider Waite deck for a while and focused on an Oracle deck I have (and love)  because I just wasn't FEELING the Raider Waite. I felt too much pressure and I was forcing myself to love it, I was forcing myself to understand... when that wasn't right for me. So I put it on the back burner... and guess who came a'knockin? my dear voice of Fate and it said "hey.. look at those Raider Waite cards sitting right there next to you... now that you're in your room and peaceful, you should grab them and give a one card reading a try" and I said "You know what... I should!" and I did.. once about a week ago.  I shuffled and I chose my card the way that feels right to me.. I told myself "pick YOUR card Amanda, don't just pick any card" and I picked up a card.. I looked at it and it WAS my card. I think I posted about this because I couldn't believe it.. and my dear friends just told me that I did do this. Ok, so last night I decided I was going to try again. I put on my lovely incense and I took my Raider Waite deck out of the cloth and I shuffled... and I spread them across their cloth and I said "Amanda, pick YOUR card" I scanned the deck a time or two to make sure I knew it was my card and then I picked it up. Oh.. my... goodness.

I had NEVER seen this card before.. I used to look at all of the cards and practice reciting what the wands meant and what the cups meant and so forth and so on and I had even practiced the Major Arcana, but I had NEVER seen this card before. I looked at it.. and I said "wow.. this looks like a wise bunch... there's a lot going on here, but it's all organized.. everything in my life is settling right now. I've opened the right door and now I have all of these lovely animals to watch over me while I take my first step" I talked about what the card screamed at me... there were books... there were Egyptian symbols.. I was at home. at home I tell you.. and I still don't know how it happened... how I picked up MY card the first time.. and knew what it was saying.. and how I picked up MY card a second time and knew exactly what it was saying.. How does it happen?

I have NO idea, but I am going to embrace it. It's times like these where I feel my flame rekindle and I see myself running down that wooded path looking for what's next... it always pops right out at me when I least expect it *cue the banging on the wall in front of me* (yes, it really did just happen as I typed out "pops right out") Isn't life amazing..

And another note.. I was telling a dear coworker friend about a story.. I've talked about it here several times.. well, my coworker and I share some similar things that no one else in our work place share..  they're all spiritual things and one day I mentioned that when lights are my cue for things... if the lights are different than they were before or than I feel they should be... that's my sign. I know something is going on and I know what to do. She said the exact same thing is for her.. I thought that was so great. Well, while I was telling her my story and I talked about how I always get a sign when I talk about this story and as I said something else about uncertainty, the lights flickered in our store. we both started laughing and said "ahh... well then" hah.. it was amazing.. sharing that with someone.

Embrace life!! It's so amazing.. the little things are what help. and a new goal I have for today is going to be to remind myself to think of the little things when I'm feeling down. I get so down, but as soon as a little thing pops in my head I am good to go. Sometimes I try to push them out of my head though... which isn't good, so we'll try harder to accept the little things that come to me when I am sad. Let's do it! <3

<3 love!